My Christmas Registry

Just posting this here for the family. I will keep adding to it as I think of things.

• The Children of Hurin - by J.R.R. Tolkein
• cordless telephone with 2 handsets
• Layali Yasmina CD
• gift card for Future Shop (for a digital camera)
• money to buy furniture
• bedside table
• large Lagostina Ticino frying pan (from Canadian Tire) I already have 20 cm frying pan
  
• bookshelves (oak coloured)
• Flight of the Conchords DVD (from HBO) or CD
• chocolate coloured curtains for my bedroom (window ~ 32"x48") NOT TABBED CURTAINS (would be nice if had pale blue accent)
• a VCR
• floor lamp(s)
• a shredding machine
  

Bizarre but true

Surgery on girl born with 8 limbs went 'wonderfully well'

Have I mentioned I've been watching the X-Men movies lately... it's sort of bending my perception of this story!

The Saga of Aud the Deepminded - Part 1

DISCLAIMER: While this story is about historical people and I have spent many hours researching them, many of the sources conflict with one another. I have chosen elements from various sources to create what I hope to be an interesting story. DO NOT USE THIS STORY AS A SOURCE FOR ANY ACADEMIC WORKS. Also, I'm writing this rather quickly so I expect there to be all sorts of internal inconsistency, poor grammar, and godawful punctuation.

Chapter 1 – Ketil Flatnose

There was a hersir in Romsdal province named Ketil Flatnose. He was the son of Bjorn Buna who was also a hersir and he was the son of Grim, Lord of Sogn. Bjorn Buna’s mother was a woman from Lappland whose father was a chieftain that Grim traded with on a yearly basis. Ketil’s family could trace its roots to King Haleyg of Halogaland. Ketil Flatnose was highly respected throughout the north as a powerful man with many powerful connections.

He took to wife Yngvild, daughter of Ketil Wether, a hersir of Raumarike who was a man of good family.

Ketil Flatnose made many successful excursions to the western isles and men were happy to follow him. He had a knack for knowing where to find the best goods and always shared them fairly with his followers.

His wife Yngvild was widely admired, for she was very beautiful and Ketil always brought back the finest jewelry and fabrics to adorn her with. There were many people who said that her features were no less fine than the treasures she wore.

At this time Ketil and Yngvild had three children. Their oldest son was named Bjorn, for his father’s father. Next came two daughters, Thorunn, who was later called Hyrna “the Horned”, and Aud, who would grow to become a woman of great renown.

One summer Ketil was off raiding in the western isles. He had partnered up with Jarl Kjallak of Jamtland and they brought together a mighty force which raided throughout Mercia for several months. The two men fought well together, and grew to greatly admire one another. On one occasion Ketil Flatnose had the opportunity to slay a man who was about to attack Kjallak from behind. Kjallak offered to foster Ketil’s young son Bjorn. This was a great honour to Ketil as Kjallak had the finest land in Jamtland and received rent from many freemen.

Chapter 2 – The Return

Aud ran excitedly to find her sister Thorunn. She had looked for her back at the house, but Yngvild had sent Thorunn up to the shieling with Aisling to milk the goats.

There had been a strong wind blowing from the southwest for several days, and Aud had caught Yngvild looking seaward numerous times. Aud knew the baby would soon be here – Yngvild’s tummy was so big now. Sometimes Aud would put her hand on Yngvild’s tummy and feel the baby move beneath it. Yngvild’s tummy was so hard. Sometimes when she was alone Aud would poke her own tummy, but it didn’t feel the same.

Aud was starting to slow down, but she was so excited that she just tried harder and harder to run. The shieling was so far away from the house, but Aud didn’t mind the climb because she loved to look out over the fjord below. She could see the shieling now, and Corin was out with the sheep. He waved at her and started to walk towards her.

“Daddy’s home!” Aud yelled out excitedly.

Corin turned towards the shieling and went inside. In a few seconds Thorunn came running out, meeting Aud and njarly running into her.

“Daddy’s home?” asked Thorunn with great excitement. Her voice njarly trembled.

Aud pointed down to Romsdal fjord which spread out before them. There were sixteen longships there which hadn’t been there jarlier that morning when Thorunn headed up to the shieling with Aisling. The ships had men moving in out of them repeatedly as they unloaded the ships of all the great treasures and trade goods that they had reaped from their journey. Aud could see many large stacks and piles accumulating on the docks. From that distance she was not able to make out Ketil Flatnose, her father.

“I wonder what he brought us this time!” yelled Thorunn as she started to run down the valley toward the docks. Aud ran, but couldn’t keep up with her older sister as she ran down the valley. She stopped for a brief rest, and looked back up the valley towards the shieling. Aisling and Corin were standing beside it. Aud thought they looked stiffer than normal, and maybe even a little bit sad.

Aud took off down the slope again. She could see Ketil now, and Thorunn was njarly there. Thorunn yelled out something that Aud couldn’t hear, and Ketil turned to see her. He grabbed her strongly in both arms and swung her up overhead. Thorunn’s laughter carried all the way up to Aud. She ran faster.

“And there’s my little lambchop!!” called out Ketil Flatnose as he put Thorunn back down on the ground and reached out for Aud. Aud njarly leapt up into his arms, she was so excited. He swung her around too, then hugged her close to him while he did a little dance.

“I missed you so much, daddy!” said Aud, “I want to hear all your stories about your adventures!”

“That’s going to have to wait. I have important things to do tonight, but when all of Jarl Kjallak’s men are gone you will not lack for new tales. We had great successes and I am sure that my stories will not disappoint you,” said Ketil. “Now run along. You girls stay out of the way here. Go tell your mother I will be back to the house shortly.”

“Yes, daddy,” the girls called out simultaneously.

They ran back home to share the news with everyone there. Then their mother sent them out to fetch their older brother Bjorn from a neighbouring farmyard.

Chapter 3 - The Changes at Home

It had been several days since Ketil Flatnose had returned home with Jarl Kjallak. Aud had hardly seen her father for fifteen minutes in total since his return. She did not know how it was possible, but she felt like she missed him even more now that he was home than she did when he was out faring in the Western Isles. There were so many men around, too. They celebrated every night. In the evenings Yngvild sent the girls to stay in the old hut on their farm where Aisling, Corin and the new woman her father had brought home from the Western Isles all stayed. Aud couldn’t understand this new woman at all, but Aisling seemed to be able to talk to her in some sort of jibberish language they both knew. This new woman was very pretty but very quiet, and stayed near Aisling as much as she could. Aud heard her crying one night. She could not understand why she was not happy – Romsdalen was such a nice place and Aud loved it very much.

The next day was a very busy one on the farm. Jarl Kjallak was leaving for Jamtland the next day, and Ketil was going to host a large feast to honour him. There was a flurry of activity all over the place as Yngvild, Aisling, and the new woman worked away at preparing the feast. Aisling had been baking bread for the last few days and was preparing one last batch for the night’s festivities. Aud waited until Aisling was alone, then approached her.

“Aisling, what’s wrong with the new woman? Why is she not happy?” asked Aud.

“Oh Aud, you cannot understand why, you silly little girl,” replied Aisling as she focused on kneading the last of the dough she had prepared.

Aud got mad. “I can too!” she retorted huffily.

Aisling laughed. “Oh all right,” she replied, “Caoimhe is a long way from home and…”

“What did you say? Is that her name?” Aud interrupted.

“Yes, Caoimhe. It’s Gaelic, like my name,” said Aisling.

“What’s Gaelic?” asked Aud.

“It’s the language of the people of the Western Isles, or at least part of the Western Isles. That’s where Caoimhe and I come from.”

Aud was surprised. She never knew that Aisling had not lived in Romsdalen her whole life. “You didn’t grow up here?” Aud asked incredulously, her eyes widening with surprise.

“No,” said Aisling, “I was born in Pictland. Around five summers ago your father raided in my town. He and his followers killed many men, and took many people from their homes. He had us tied up, put us in his ships, and sailed us away for many days. He took us to a strange place where people with dark-coloured hair and skin lived, and sold or traded most of us away to these strangers. I was a pretty woman back then, and I guess he must have liked how I looked…”

“I think you are still pretty, Aisling,” said Aud.

“You are a sweet girl, Aud, but living with your mother has been very hard on me. I think she was jealous of me at first, and she tried very hard to find things to punish me for. There were many nights where I did not wake up the next day after she beat me.”

Aud went quiet. She remembered one night a few weeks earlier when her mother had been very angry. She yelled and yelled at Aisling, and Aud heard what sounded like hitting. The next day Aisling’s face was covered in bruises.

Aisling looked over at Aud. The girl was starting to look at her in a sad way.

“Oh, but you were not asking about me, you were asking about Caoimhe,” said Aisling quickly.

“I still do not know what it is that you are saying her name is – is it Key-vee?” asked Aud.

“No, it is like Key-va,” said Aisling with strong enunciation.

“Key-va?”

“Yes, that’s right,” said Aisling. “It means ‘beautiful’ in Gaelic.”

“Oh that is the right name for her,” said Aud, “She is so pretty.”

“Yes, though it is unlikely that she will long stay that way, if your mother treats her the same way as she has treated me” Aisling said sadly, staring at the ground.

Aud stared at Aisling for a minute, but the woman said nothing more. She grabbed the loaves she had prepared and took them to the outdoor oven.

“I guess she must really miss her home,” thought Aud as she skipped away from the fire house and went outside to chase butterflies.

That night there was a lot of commotion coming from the longhouse as the feast went on. Aud had a hard time staying asleep with all the cheering and yelling that was going on. It got a little quiet for a few minutes and she nearly fell asleep, but there was an even louder cheer than any of the other cheers that had been cheered before. Yup, that was some cheering.

Anyway, a few minutes after that she heard someone run past the hut, crying. She tiptoed over to the doorway and peaked out. The full moon was shining out over the Romsdal fjord, brilliantly lighting up Ketil Flatnose’s farm. She could see someone, possibly a boy, crouched and huddled up against the rock fence of the pig pen. She looked back into the hut; Aisling, Corin, and Thorunn were all soundly sleeping (in Corin’s case he was making a lot of sound, snoring away in the corner on an old, worn-out chair).

Aud grabbed the blanket from the little hay pile where she was sleeping, wrapped it around her, and left the hut as quietly as she could. She cautiously approached the pig pen, and soon realized that the boy was her brother Bjorn.

“Bjorn!” she called out in a loud whisper. He looked up and quickly turned his face away, but she could tell that he had been crying.

She sat down beside him.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

He started wailing, despite himself. Aud put her hand on his back and waited. After a few minutes he started to cry less.

“Daddy is sending me away with Jarl Kjallak,” he managed to choke out.

Aud’s eyes popped open with surprise. “What? Really?” she asked.

“Yes… and we’re leaving tomorrow!” said Bjorn.

Aud did not know what to say. She could not imagine the farm without Bjorn. Who would she go and throw rocks in the creek with? For that matter, who would she go throw rocks at by the creek? Every day she followed Bjorn down to the fjord and she would sit in a boat with him while he fished. She liked to do that. It was so calm out on the water. She sometimes peered down into the water and tried to make out the bottom. If she could convince him, sometimes he rowed out to the little island and they would climb onto it and pretend to fight dragons. Bjorn was a lot more fun than Thorunn. She just wanted to do work and help everyone.

Aud started to get mad. “No!” she yelled, “He can not make you go away!”

She got up and ran towards the longhouse, leaving her brother there with his shock and fear to keep him company. Just as she was about to throw herself into the main door, it shot open. She screamed, and the man who was coming out nearly fell over himself in surprise. After taking a second to get herself together Aud scuttled past him, and ran into the loud, choatic longhouse. Her father was sitting on the high seat, holding Caoimhe on his lap. Caoimhe had both of her forearms held out before her, pressed into Ketil’s chest, trying to hold him back. Aud took no notice. She ran up to him.

“Daddy!” she yelled and tried to climb up onto the high seat and hug him. “You can’t make him go away!”

“Aud! My little girl!” called out Ketil with a drunken drawl. He released his grip on Caoimhe, who immediately pulled away out of reach, and pulled Aud up onto his lap. He started to tickle her. She started to laugh, despite herself.

“Daddy!” she yelled, “Daddy, stop! Stop, Daddy! Stop!”

Ketil tickled her even harder, laughing his deep-throated laugh that Aud had heard so many times before. Her laughter turned to screams.

“Stop! Stop! Nooo, stop!!!”

Ketil lightened his touch a bit, then started up even harder than before. He grinned hugely.

“Ow! Daddy, no!!! That hurts! You are hurting me! Stop!” yelled Aud.

Everyone in the longhouse was starting to watch them. Most of the men were laughing at them. Aud was getting mad. She tried to punch Ketil, and flailed her legs out in an effort to kick him. He relaxed his grip of her, then let her go. She turned to face him.

“Daddy, you can not let him go!” she pleaded. “Please do not make Bjorn go!”

He pulled her closer.

“Keep your voice down,” he gruffly replied, “This is a great honour for your brother and for our family. Jarl Kjallak is a great man and an even better friend. Your brother could not have a better foster-father. Now go back to bed and stop causing trouble.”

Aud sulked away.

“How could he be so mean?” she thought, “It’s not fair.”

When she went back to the pig pen Bjorn was gone. She could not see him anywhere. She went back to the haypile in the old hut and cried herself to sleep.

The next day before Bjorn left, Ketil got the whole family together. He shared some stories about his raids in Pictland, and gave gifts to everyone. To Bjorn he gave a fine dagger with intricate scrollwork on the handle. It had belonged to a great Pict leader, the uncle of Caoimhe. He told Bjorn that he was proud of him and that he would become a great man under Jarl Kjallak. To Thorunn he gave two finely carved bone combs for her long, blond hair. Aud received a doll made of wax with real human hair, dressed in fine clothes. She was very excited about her gift, and nearly forgot about how her brother would be leaving in a matter of hours. Yngvild’s gifts were very valuable: a finely carved chest containing a large pile of beautiful fabrics, a silver chalice, and a set of silver bracelets. This, however, was not enough to placate her for Ketil’s gift to himself, Caoimhe.